


Dark Paradise

by MissPoppy



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: AU kind of??, Bittersweet, Fluff and Angst, M/M, implied vocelhira
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 05:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8565250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissPoppy/pseuds/MissPoppy
Summary: There was a long pause and Kaz could feel panic start to burn in his stomach. He felt like an idiot and went to hang up but before he could the other man spoke."Kazuhira Miller, I'm glad some things never changed."





	

3:33am, the digital alarm clock was flashing when Kaz's vision started to come back to him. He was shaking, drenched in sweat, throat raw from screaming.

 

Another nightmare. 

 

He could still feel that blue eye burning into him, the weight of his world laid on Kaz's chest.

 

Kaz looked over to the empty side of the bed, Nadine's side, she had long grew tired of the constant nightmares. She loved him but she couldn't fight the three phantoms that tortured his subconscious. Kaz sighed as he slowly swung his legs off the bed and got up, he walked quietly through the house to the dining room, kneeling to open the liquor cabinet. He grabbed the near empty bottle of scotch and made his way back to the bedroom. 

 

Dia, one of the husky mixes Kaz had, lifted her head hearing her owner commit to his nightly routine. The dog stood and stretched before following him.

 

Kaz sat on the edge of the bed and absent-mindedly pet Dia as he stared out the window, the stars shone so brightly; Kaz wondered if  _ He _ could see them too before cursing himself for thinking of  _ That Asshole _ . Yet, he moved to the bedside phone and quietly punched in a number he thought he had long forgotten, he didn't expect it to connect.

 

It did.

 

Kaz's heart started to race. What was he going to do if he answered? He hoped someone else owned the number.

 

They didn't.

 

"Hello...? Who is this? How did you get this number?" a tired, fake southern drawl yawned through the receiver.

 

Kaz's breath hitched. His vision started to blur as tears spilled down his face and he let out a choked sob.

 

"...Kazuhira...? Is that you?" The voice sounded more awake and alert.

 

"Please. A-Adam... sing like y-you used to..." Kaz barely managed to whisper to the man on the other end.

 

There was a long pause and Kaz could feel panic start to burn in his stomach. He felt like an idiot and went to hang up but before he could the other man spoke.

 

"Kazuhira Miller, I'm glad some things never changed."

 

"Adamska..."

 

His voice was quiet as he started, he always sung the same Russian lullaby. Ocelot had told him it was about a mother singing to her son about how he'll be a soldier one day and the pain of missing him. So fitting for the both of them really.

 

By the time he finished Kaz could hear his voice cracking. They sat in silence for what felt like hours. Ocelot spoke first.

 

"Remember the night we first did this? That night that we first...." Ocelot sighed. Kaz could tell he was crying, it was the way he breathed, desperate to be hidden.

 

"Thank you Adamska. Good night."

 

"Night ba-... Night Miller."

 

Kaz sets the phone back in it place and curls himself around the husky asleep in the bed. He chokes down his wish to see him again. It's too late to want that now.

 

If only Big Boss had actually gone to hell.

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

It's been weeks of this. Almost nightly, a nightmare, a phone call, a song, comfort and pain all at once. A couple of times Ocelot has asked for Kaz to do the same for him, he was the only one that could stand his singing. Once when Eva visited the base she joked he was too in love to hear the bag of weasels being drowned. It was the first time Kaz saw Ocelot blush, an image he missed oh so much.

 

Kaz was so wrapped up in thinking of the 'good old days' he didn't hear Nadine walk into his office until she spoke.

 

"Ben, phone's for you." She all but snapped, he knew she was close to leaving. And he wasn't sure he cared anymore. He took the receiver and held it to his ear.

 

"Hello, This is Miller."

 

"11pm, Tonight. The Paradise Motel, on Route 84. Room 101. You better be there, Miller."

 

_ Click. _

 

Kaz felt like his stomach fell out of his ass. Talking to him when he was upset was one thing, but going to some dirty motel alone to meet him? That was insane, there was no way he was going.

 

At least that's what he told himself.

 

He walked to his room and started packing.

 

"What was that about?" Nadine stood in the doorway.

 

"I gotta go for a business thing." He didn't look at her.

 

"Bullshit Ben."

 

"Uh-huh."

 

"Don't expect me to be here whenever you get back."

 

"Got it." He listened as she stormed off, there was no point chasing after her. He had hurt her enough already. He looked at the clock, 8:45pm.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

Two hours later and Kaz found himself sitting in his old pickup, Dia in the passenger seat, an overnight bag on the floor, his gun tucked away in his coat.

 

"Dia, your old dad might be doing the second dumbest thing he's ever done."

 

The husky tilted her head at Kaz.

 

"The first was not dragging that idiotic cat off that godforsaken base."

 

Dia barked in response. Kaz smiled at her, she was so much like her grandfather. It made Kaz's heart hurt remembering the old guy. He was still around but it wasn't long. Hopefully he could hold up to see his 'mama' one more time.

 

He pulled into the motel and started to feel something fluttering in his stomach... Butterflies? Fear? Probably both. Neither great.

 

He checked his gun one last time to make sure it was loaded, not that it was really needed. Grabbing his bag, he hopped out of his truck; Dia following close to him. He made his way to the room he was told to go to.

 

He went to knock but his fist just hovered in front of the door. Was he really sure he wanted to do this? To rip this scar open? What would happen? What if Ocelot was just using his emotions against him? Lulling him into false security before stabbing him in the back? It wouldn't have been the first time...

 

Suddenly the door swung open.

 

"Kazuhira, you actually came..." The man who stood before him was indeed Revolver Ocelot, a much older version but Ocelot nonetheless, his hair was so long now, his moustache made him look too much like a cat. Of some reason he half expected to see the Ocelot from the 80's that he remembered so well. He still dressed like a stupid cowboy.

 

Suddenly every memory he had of him flashed in his mind at once and in a blind rage Kaz sucker punched Ocelot straight in the face, his fist connecting hard with the cat's nose. Ocelot didn't react more than stumbling backwards and covering his nose with his hand.

 

"I suppose I deserve that."

 

"You suppose!? After everything you did to me!? I GAVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU DIDN'T CARE!!" Kaz screamed, his whole body was shaking. There was so much buried anger, so many things he wanted to do; to say. But as he felt familiar arms around him, he could only sink into the embrace and sob. Ocelot just held him, softly rubbing his back as he hiccupped out choked tears.

 

"Kazuhira. My Kazuhira. I don't expect you to forgive me, I'd never ask that of you. I followed my blind loyalty... but it was the wrong one... I chose wrong." His grip tightened on Kaz like if he didn't hold on strong enough he'd disappear.

 

"Adamska..."

 

"I should have followed you, Kazuhira."

 

And that's all it took, Kaz pushed Ocelot against the wall, kicking the door shut behind them. Their teeth hit as they smashed their faces together, it was possibly the sloppiest kiss they shared but it was the most needed. Kaz could taste Ocelot's blood as they kissed, it wasn't exactly the first time that happened with the way they fought, it just made it better.

 

Ocelot shivered as Kaz grabbed at him, his hands remapping Ocelot's body. Hands.

 

He pulled away from the kiss to take Kaz's right hand into his own.

 

"When did you get this?"

 

"A while back... Why?"

 

"Are you able to take it off?"

 

"Well yeah but why?"

 

"I don't like it." Ocelot narrowed his eyes at the prosthetic like an alley-cat seeing another tom in his territory.

 

"Adam..."

 

"Take it off or you're not allowed to continue."

 

"God you're still a fucking brat."

 

"Do you use it and think about  **_him_ ** ?" Ocelot spat. 

 

...Did Kaz just hear jealousy? Oh, this was going to be fun.

 

"And what if I do? You know just as well I did how **_good_ ** he was with it. Was hard not to think about it." Kaz smirked

 

"You bastard."

 

"What are you going to do about it?"

 

The room spun as Kaz hit the floor...

 

"That." Ocelot said as he knelt over him. He was about to straddle Kaz when he was met with a warm, wet dog tongue up his face. He looked up at the husky that followed her owner into the motel room, he did a double take making sure he wasn't seeing a ghost.

 

"D-dog...?" Ocelot's hands went straight into the dog's soft fur. She looked just like him, same coat, same face, same eye.

 

"His granddaughter, Dia. Though he is still kicking, don't know for how long though. He's really old now... he just spends most of his days sleeping on the couch. He still has one of your old scarves." Kaz said softly as he watched Ocelot bury his face in Dia's fur.

 

"Really!? Can I go see him?"

 

"Of course... You are his mother after all."

 

Ocelot shot Kaz a  _ look  _ and Kaz just laughed. They helped each other up and sat on the bed, leaning on each other.

 

"You know we can't have a happy ending right?"

 

"I know."

 

"We still have our roles to play..."

 

"I know. Heh, too bad we can't fake our deaths."

 

Ocelot just stared at Kaz. Gears turning as ideas and plans started.

 

"Adam, it was a joke, we can't do that..."

 

"Why can't we? What better way to tell Big Boss to go to hell after all." 

  
Kaz wasn't sure if Ocelot had lost it or not but he couldn't help but cuddle up to him as they started making the plans where they could have each other and no one else. Well maybe one other, a certain horned man.

**Author's Note:**

> yo this is gaaaay
> 
> don't let me listen to lana del rey and write cuz this is what u get in return  
> title is based of her song which is perfect for bittersweet ocelhira
> 
>  
> 
> the lullaby mentioned - http://www.mamalisa.com/?t=es&p=1044
> 
> also i guess i gotta write old ocel and d-dog having one last moment together....


End file.
